It occurred to me recently that what I had set out to do I had put on pause. I started this blog, in part, because I know so many of us feel the same way. We are tired, working hard, putting our all into everything we do and still somehow feel like we are coming up short. It is hard to not acknowledge how dark our shadow side can seem at times.
Work became very busy, my mother landed in the hospital, again, big, bold, new adventures were undertaken and yet I easily and readily gave up most of my self care. This got me thinking. Why is it that we always seem to sacrifice ourselves when demands (as real as they are) arise? Is that truly the easiest solution or the only solution?
What brings me peace is solitude, reflection, stillness. Giving that up stunts my growth. Changing my perspective on what I thought were tenets of my life helps me realign with myself. For example, I won't be a better daughter by not getting some rest or be a better employee because I don't become overly concerned with things over which I have no control. As a matter of fact, the opposite might happen.
My shadow side (my fears, insecurities, doubts) can coexist with my highest purpose (my growing, my believing, my faith). The shade is where it starts and the light is what ascends and takes what it needs for that symbiotic relationship to live. I don't think it is about ignoring the negative and focusing on the positive. That's too one-dimensional. I rather think it's about using one to know how to nurture the other and live better.
And now, I am taking the next half hour to just be.
(NB: The beautiful bright green leaf is called Palm of Christ and it currently lives in the gardens of The Cloisters in NYC.)
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